I watched a man write a note that said “I didn’t really know you, but so many people loved you. I hope you are smiling” and I completely lost it (again). 

A woman who didn’t know Esme (I heard her say “look, she was a teacher”) absorbed the altar with tears in her eyes (see above).

For Esme. At Mexic-Arte. 

From Apartment Therapy: Sex, Sleep and Rock & Roll: 17 Musicians’ Bedrooms

Here’s mine.

My first show during SXSW is on Tuesday at 29th Street Ballroom at the Fourth Annual International Psychout.  I play at 3. I might have to borrow some effects pedals for this one!

First day of Girls Rock Camp. Ms. Scarlett, lead howler, Ms Esme, badass.

I lost a dear friend early Sunday morning. I was able to piece together a few sentences about her yesterday but today I’m totally numb and I fear if I try to write more I’ll fall apart again. So, from my facebook post:

“I look ridiculous” was the last text I received from Esme, on her way out the door to the big NYE bash. She didn’t look ridiculous of course, I spotted her across the packed room donning a cute dress, standing against the stage by Max, singing along to Surrender at the top of her lungs. “Mommy’s alright, daddy’s alright they just seem a little weird surrender surrender but don’t give yourself away.” This is what I loved the most about Esme - her ability to capitulate completely to the moment. To put on a strappy dress and think she looks ridiculous and go out anyway. To stand in the front of the front and belt it. To listen to a song and embrace its power. To own the dance floor. Esme loved so hard. She had challenges and she faced them full on. Who is going to send me pictures of Ted Leo with hearts drawn on it? Who is going to chat me “Yo! I wish it was my job just to have fun!” I love her so much and I’m going to remember all of these things and use them to make myself a better person and the world a brighter place. I hope you’ll do the same. 

I started writing a long sappy adios to Emo’s - the first live music crapitorium I set foot in when I arrived in Austin nineteen year ago - but I didn’t finish and as the end is nigh, it seems only fitting. Sure there were lots of great shows by better known artists on those stages but the thing that made the place so special - especially 90s Emo’s - were the bands that never made it - the imploders and the quitters and the freaks and the couldn’t-get-their-shit-togetherers. Thanks to Eric, Dave and everyone - surly staff, cute bartenders, smelly regulars and all of you, who made Emo’s a place for the rest of us. Rest in peace Handsome Joel.